The best and worst part of writing a book are the same thing

The best part about writing and publishing my book Life Between Moments: New York Stories was not watching it top Amazon’s bestseller lists, nor was it watching generous reviews roll in from readers. 

It was actually the very worst moments of the writing process that I remember most fondly and found most meaningful.

The most arduous days of the writing process — when my pen seemed to be made of concrete and my mind felt like oatmeal but I sat down to write anyway — that’s what I remember most.

I’m proud that I refused to negotiate with myself through the most difficult stretches of the writing process. Even when I was tired, out of ideas, or simply not wanting to write.

The meaning of life doesn’t spring from success or milestones. You find meaning in the moments you overcome a challenge, and in showing yourself who you are when no one’s watching. 

Since the book came out in August, it gives me less fulfillment since all I do is watch readers react to it. The work is already done. The final product is in the hands of others now. 

Now, I’ve just about lost interest in the collection of stories that took so much of me to muster.

I felt most alive when the book was still a work in progress. A living, breathing project that I contended with on a daily basis. Those were the most meaningful times. The year-long challenge reaffirmed to myself that I could pursue something serious, and take myself seriously as a writer. 

The book’s meaning, for me, stemmed most from my own diligence and ability to complete consistent, quiet hours of work. 

To be sure, it’s nice to see how well-received the book has been among readers. There are over 100 five-star reviews on Amazon, and more continue to roll in every week. 

Ultimately, however, I know that I’ll derive more meaning from putting this book in the rearview mirror sooner rather than later. My next source of fulfillment isn’t going to come from watching something from the sidelines.

Life Between Moments was my second book in two years — and I promise it will not be my last.