There are two camps of people when it comes to public speaking: those who admit it makes them nervous, and liars.
If you’ve ever had to give a public talk or presentation, you don’t need me to tell you about the jitters and sweaty palms. And yet, for most people, these occasions actually almost never happen.
Far more common is the communication we don’t plan for — spontaneous, unexpected queries like being called on in a meeting, giving an improvised toast at a party, or even small talk. These moments unfold everyday, yet few people make the effort to improve at them.
Mark Twain quipped that it took several weeks to prepare for a good impromptu speech. But to Matt Abrahams, a lecturer at the Stanford Graduate School of Business who specializes in spontaneous public speaking, getting put on the spot doesn’t have to be daunting.
“The biggest misconception has to do with the fact that we can’t all get better at communication,” Abrahams told me on a video call. “People feel that you’re either born with the gift of gab or not, and that’s not true at all.”
His new book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter distills decades of research into an accessible blueprint brimming with helpful, unconventional axioms like “dare to be dull” and “maximize mediocrity.”
Improving on-the-spot communication — and as a result, formal public speaking — comes down to understanding that there is no “right” way to convey ideas, he said. You can get better or worse, but progress begins with removing the pressure of perfection.
“In many spontaneous situations, we want to perform our best, but we use standards for judging our communication that aren’t appropriate,” Abrahams said. “Performers, politicians, senior leaders — these people have been trained to do a really good job speaking. And we shouldn’t hold that unrealistic standard to what we’re doing in the moment.”
Daily conversation can never reflect the scripted nature of a TED Talk, and aspiring to that can distract us from the moment at hand or the people we’re attempting to communicate with.
What exacerbates poor communication, too, is approaching it as a challenge or confrontation. The goal instead, Abrahams said, should be to figure out how to explore an idea productively.
For example, the classic improv technique of adding “yes and” to your responses, he explained, reframes the conversation as an opportunity to find common ground, and minimizes deflection.
Make every conversation a story
Abrahams said applying storytelling can make communication far more memorable. Implementing these structures isn’t about pre-scripting a conversation, but arming yourself with boundaries and habits that increase the likelihood of communicating well on the fly.
“Our brains are wired to take structure in and remember it better than lists or bullet points,” he told me. “You have to have logical connections, like a roadmap or recipe.”
When jazz musicians improvise, he said, it may come across as if they’re playing random notes, but in reality they are improvising within the bounds of preset structures that they have practiced for years. The same can be true for communication.
Abrahams recommends a slate of three-part structures that can make anything you say more engaging, each with a beginning, middle, and end:
- Problem-Solution-Benefit
- Past-Present-Future
- Comparison-Contrast-Conclusion
But his favorite structure, as he writes in his book, follows the format, What, So What, Now What:
You start by discussing an idea, topic, product, service, or argument (What). Then you explain why it’s important, helpful, or useful — why it matters and is relevant (So What). You end with what your audience should do from here with this knowledge — how they might apply it, what actions they should take, and so on (Now What).
‘Maximize mediocrity’
No one wants to aim for mediocrity, but when you’re put on the spot to communicate, doing so frees you from the pitfalls of perfectionism. When it comes to communicating, “good enough” is great, he said.
“Because we strive to do the best we can and be right, that puts pressure on us and reduces the likelihood we’re going to say it well,” he said. “It boils down to cognitive load. If I’m judging myself while I’m trying to speak, I’m putting extra cognitive bandwidth demands on the task.”
As he writes in his book:
“In a delightful paradox, the more mediocre you give yourself permission to be, the better, more compelling a speaker you become.”
Matt Abrahams’ book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter is now available. He also has a lecture on YouTube of the same title that has over 33 million views — watch it here.
I write about powerful ideas, recession-proof skills, and building a personal brand in my newsletter every week. Join 1,850 subscribers here.
Be First to Comment