I just quit my dream job

Yesterday, I stepped out of the Business Insider newsroom for the last time. 

Thursday was my last day as a senior reporter at the global outlet. I exchanged handshakes and hugs with colleagues and friends, had my last sip of the office coffee that had perked me up so many times, and turned in my laptop.   

As I left, I took a long, final look around the place I called home for three years. Reporters I admire bustled about and veteran editors clacked away on keyboards. I felt a lump in my throat.

The moment itself wasn’t a surprise, but its weight nearly toppled me anyway. 

Until this week, I had never resigned from a job before. Past internships and roles had all come to natural conclusions. I graduated or moved, or an internship ended.

Business Insider marked my first “adult” job, and for a long time it was a perfect fit. I realize how rare it is land a dream job immediately out of school. Most people don’t until years later. But not me. I did it, I loved it, and now it’s over. 

As I write this on the first morning of a new chapter, the nostalgia is extraordinary. I did a lot of growing up in that newsroom. 

I remember interviewing while I was still in graduate school in California. Signing my job offer. Relocating to New York. Celebrating my first byline. Being part of a scrappy team that evolved into a well-oiled machine.

There were promotions. 

Setbacks. 

Anxieties. 

Awards. 

I’m a far better and wiser person today than I was before this company took me in.

Cliché as it is, of course I will miss the people the most. My editors and teammates who became friends. The conversations in the kitchen and lunchtime walks. The camaraderie that comes from doing hard things together. 

Pivoting out of a job’s responsibilities is one thing, but going from talking to the same people every single day to not seems like the bigger adjustment. 

I’d been so nervous for the conversations I anticipated having on my last day, but the support and warm wishes from my coworkers reassured me that the work we did together was good and important. Moving on won’t change that. 

I’ve learned that people can adapt quickly, even when it’s uncomfortable. I expect I will be fine, but that doesn’t mean I won’t miss my colleagues and the only home I’ve known in my short career.

Still, this week is a turning point. It’s disorienting and weird to think everything I’ve described above can officially be clumped into what we call “the past.” 

Now, my life will always be divided into what happened before Business Insider, and what happens after. 

It’s bittersweet but I couldn’t be more excited.

More details to come.