Reverse-engineer a reputation for excellence
Lessons learned from four-year-old students in Hong Kong about building habits and expecting more from yourself.
This weekend I found myself reminiscing about my time living in Hong Kong.
I'd moved there after graduating college, and for six months I found myself teaching four-year-olds how to spell and speak.
Endearingly, most of them called me "Mr. Pill" because they couldn't pronounce my name.
Today I want to share what those preschoolers taught me about building habits and solidifying a reputation.
Habits shape your reputation
Given the rigors of Hong Kong's education system, most of my students were diligent. It's integral to the culture to work hard in school.
Completing homework was largely not an issue for my classes, and when I collected assignments each day, my response illustrated my expectations.
“Awesome job and no surprise here,” I’d say, as if their behavior was the norm.
I made sure they knew that, when they finished assignments, it never surprised me.
Of course there were some students who did not like doing homework, and so they chose not to.
At first I'd tried to encourage those students, pestering them with upbeat platitudes in an attempt to get them to do what they were supposed to do.
But I realized soon that encouragement wasn't the best option. Sometimes, it made them more rebellious.
What moved the needle most, I noticed, was when I would act surprised on the rare occasions those students would turn in homework.
Commending a job well done is one thing, but expressing disbelief at someone's bare minimum efforts can be powerful. That can rattle you into realizing that you've built a reputation for below-par work.
By conveying surprise when certain students did something good, as if to highlight the anomaly of their achievement, those toddlers became self-motivated to improve.
They intuitively wanted to improve their reputation.
Reputation can also shape habits
Remember, the habits we build are a direct reflection of what we believe in.
The things we do everyday become who we are — that's a reputation.
But it's important to note how other people's view of us can also shape our habits.
If you're always late, for example, then your friends may start to expect you to show up late, and then they stop holding you accountable to be on time.
That gives you leeway to continue being late, which then cements tardiness as a habit.
This is where reverse-engineering comes in.
Think about the person you want to be, and then break down what habits it would take to become that person.
To establish a reputation as someone who's prompt and respectful of other people's time, for example, you have to build the habit of being on time consistently.
So now I turn this to you. What reputation do you want to have? How can you build it?
